Nov 15, 2015

The case of our smoking tongues.

It has been said that the pen is mightier than the sword. It has also been said that sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me. While there may be some truth to these childhood phrases the harsh reality is that always being right is not always how to win friends and influence people and some people get offended and hurt by being corrected. It has also been said to never bring a knife to a gun fight.

The smoking gun is our smoking tongues that sometimes may not be building bridges but burning them down. Sarcasm and pointing out the obvious inaccuracies and misinformation some spew is kind of an unofficial pastime of ours. We know this is not polite public behavior but when the stupid are sharing misinformation like its gospel we sometimes cannot help ourselves. It only gets worse when they then argue with the first gently delivered corrections. To those we have corrected, to some of you we apologize. Ok ok, (wives looking over shoulders) we apologize to everyone even if we were right. Sorry, we apologize to everyone even if some of you deserved it... well you get the picture!

So what are some of the things that start this poor behavior? You know you are snarky when...

One question that often comes up when we meet people at wine events is 'Did you guys know each other before you moved to California?' The standard snarky response is 'You do know there is an ocean between the countries don't you?'
One of our favorites...
It seems like many people, including many 'wine experts', have a tendency to Frenchify the word "Meritage" by pronouncing its last syllable with a "zh" sound, as in "garage," the Meritage Alliance specifically states that the word should be pronounced to rhyme with "heritage."[ A correction that we just cannot seem to let slide. Often ends with a google search on the smart phone and sharing.
We have been overheard saying at some wine events that small town USA food and wine should often be called the Small town USA food or wine.
When growing up a teacher makes the comment 'would you allow me to be right once and a while'

Red wine has extra sulfites, thus causes headaches. Ok you are kidding right?
In the EU the maximum levels of sulfur dioxide that a wine can contain are 210 ppm for white wine, 400 ppm for sweet wines — and 160 ppm for red wine. Heck French fries have about 1900ppm and dried fruit 3,500. Regular soft drinks have about 400ppm.

Screw caps are for cheap wine... WHAT!
As we start the conversation or lecture as our wives call it, there is generally a complete ignorance as to the examples we use. Not sure if any of the enlightened ever change their viewpoint based on two cranky southern hemisphere blokes kindly sharing their knowledge.

At a fancy wine tasting as the sommeliers were wrapping up the  session and were soliciting final questions someone was heard to ask 'are you going to finish that?'

And one for the ages. Who, at a friends house, would send back the wine served them? Oh yeah that has happened!

Look, we are the first to admit we do not know everything. In fact there are tons of folks out there that have forgotten more than we will ever know. We are always listening to those behind the counter and who actually do the work. We read and attend stuff with the hope to learn more from those that know. The key is if we are unsure or do not know we don't spread the old wives tales around like they are facts.

So we are working on it, you know, trying not being right all the time and as we approach the end of the year perhaps a New Years resolution that keeps the ass part of smart ass out of the conversations may come into play...

Happy Tasting Adventures,

1 comment:

We are always on a WineWalkabout looking for a good drop. Please comment and ask questions about the things you like or would like to read and see. Don't drink without pants on!