Jun 14, 2015

Some pet peeves when wine is ordered at a restaurant.

First off let me just say that this first pet peeve actually happened recently at a Four Star International Hotel that Paris's family runs when a bottle of wine was ordered for dinner.
If we order a bottle of wine at a restaurant, we want it to come to the table unopened so we know it's the right wine and the bottle hasn't been refilled out of a box. Yes really picky we know, but this is just not on, and down right dodgy. We will make a scene... Oh and by the way bring it at the right temperature. Don't even try the 'but it's at room temperature' ignorant crap, you should know better!

There are four basic components of the wine tasting ritual that a lot of people perform when they order a bottle at a restaurant: sniff  the cork, swirl the glass, sniff the wine, and hold the glass up to the light to inspect its contents. People go through this ritual, but they don't always know why they're doing it.
By sniffing the cork you are supposed to be looking for TCA taint.  But it's virtually impossible to tell without tasting the wine. It's really just a waste of time. So don't be a boor, forget the cork and smell the wine.
Another thing, when your server pours you a little splash of wine to make sure it tastes okay before serving the rest of the table, this is supposed to be a somewhat quick assessment. But then there is the ponce that wants to dissect the wine on the initial pour. Come on you wanker. Just give a sniff and a quick taste and if all is good let the server pour some bloody wine so the rest of us can have a drink
On the other hand, many people who have observed some ponce do it think they're supposed to slow down and dissect the wine, talk about it, and tell the waiter whether or not they like it. Come on ya daft cow this is not the point of the initial pour. The server simply wants to know if the wine is corked or has some other flaw. A quick sniff and sip will do. Taste vinegar or some other flaw? No, then give the server the nod to pour the rest of the table. Then you can dissect the wine and impress the rest of your party.
Then there is the 'I only drink Pinot Noir types. Think you only care for certain wines? Think you only care for specific varieties? Think you only care for specific regions? Nonsense. There are over 7 million wines out there, stemming from thousands of different regions and grape varieties. What makes wine fun is the infinite possibilities. You can always find something new and interesting to sip on to explore and enjoy. Don't get trapped into thinking you only like a handful of grapes and regions. Add the dimension of food to this and it is endless mix, so branch out a bit and try that Somm recommended wine from Spain, Chile, Australia or New Zealand. So basically anything that is not familiar. Tell them what you like and how much you want to spend and put their education to work for you. You may be surprised!
I realize after a few glasses of wine and in dim lighting we can look pretty attractive, what with all the witty repartee and all, but kissing the wine guys is generally frowned upon (by our wives) and usually won’t get you any more wine.  Feel free to flirt, get sassy and bat your eyes all you want. It’s great for the ego, but it might be best for everyone if you found someone else to kiss (or spank or grope).

So go on out and have a good time but don't get caught up in some of the faux wine ponce behavior. 

 Happy tasting Adventures,


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